Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Woodstock '99: 10 Years Later




“Let’s see if we can’t get this motherfucking place stirred up a little bit,” Fred Durst announced to the crowd early in Limp Bizkit’s set at Woodstock 1999. Apparently the mosh pit for the 200,000-plus attendees wasn’t wild enough for the band’s standards. Durst had promised MTV in a pre-concert interview that the band “would make history” at Woodstock ’99, and the reaction to the band’s songs from the recent Billboard chart #1 album “Significant Other” weren’t cutting it for him. As the band played a few more songs, he got what he wanted. The mosh pit grew increasingly violent and fans started tearing down ply-wood makeshift walls to ride on as they crowd surfed through the massive sea of people.

After “Nineteen Ninety Nine”, concert security demanded Durst calm the crowd down. “Hey, y’all, hey. Hey, they wanna ask us to ask you to mellow out a little bit. They say too many people are getting hurt. Don’t let nobody get hurt, but I don’t think you should mellow out. Mellowing out? That’s what Alanis Morrissette just had you motherfuckers do. Birkenstock Rock, y’all. This is 1999, motherfucker! Take your Birkenstocks and stick them up your fucking ass.” And then things really got out of hand as the band launched into a cover of Ministry‘s “Thieves”.

The first Woodstock in 1969 was about peace, love and 3 days of music, the defining moment of the hippie generation. The festival was a who’s who of musical greats from that era: Jimi Hendrix gave a legendary performance, Country Joe McDonald gave the defining Vietnam protesting moment when he played a rousing version of “Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die” and Crosby, Stills and Nash solidified their status as one of the premiere folk-rock acts in history with their legendary performance. But some have called the romanticizing of the event a fraud created by creative editing of the Woodstock documentary film. Originally the event was expected to get 25,000 attendees maximum, which is what promoters prepared for. But they ended up getting 350,000. The goodness of concert goers hearts to share their food and water with others saved the event from possibly turning into a disaster, since neither was provided in large enough amounts for 350,000 people. Also the event tickets originally sold for $25 and were not originally free as Woodstock myth states, but promoters knew it was impossible for them to make the large mass of people pay so decided to just cut their losses.

Country Joe & The Fish guitarist Barry Melton has long chastised the “Woodstock mythology”, saying in an interview “I can always tell who was really there when they tell me it was great. I know they saw the movie and they weren’t at the gig. It really wasn’t all that great to be there and it wasn’t really all that great to perform there. Except that everyone had an overriding sense that they were taking part in something historic. There never had been that many people together to do anything before. Our equipment got rained on. And we only got paid half our money.”

So with the tiny amount of people who actually paid to get into Woodstock, the promoters never made any money off of the show. It took licensing a documentary on the festival to Warner Brothers a year later to make any money. But through out the years there was always talk of reviving the festival for anniversaries. A 20th anniversary festival fell through in 1989. But Woodstock co-promoter Michael Lang often said he wanted to be able to give every generation its own Woodstock every 5-10 years. They decided instead to run a 25th anniversary event in 1994.

So on August 12th-14th, 1994, on the 25th anniversary of the original event, they revived the festival. It was controversial from the get-go, as people became outraged that the event had corporate sponsors this time out, the breaking point being lead-sponsor Pepsi being incorporated into the Woodstock logo of the dove on the guitar neck. The promoters called the corporate sponsors a necessity, saying the cost of running the event and paying big name acts top dollar to perform at the event was too great to just get by on ticket prices ($150) alone. The claimed price was over $20 million and if every concert goer (estimated at 350,000) paid the $150, that would have grossed $52.5 million, but of course a lot of free tickets were passed out in addition to quite a few people sneaking into the show, so it‘s impossible to get a truthful gross claim.

But the event was a total success. In addition to drawing 350,000 attendees, the event also broke the pay-per-view cable record by doubling the previous record held by New Kids On The Block in addition to getting the full weekend covered on MTV (although they were only allowed to show snippets from the concert performances and mainly just interviewed bands.) Legends from the original Woodstock-age like Crosby, Stills & Nash, Joe Cocker, The Band, Santana and even Bob Dylan who was unable to play the original event due to a motorcycle accident that left him injured played alongside mid-90s favorites like Nine Inch Nails, Green Day, Metallica, Red Hot Chili Peppers and Cypress Hill. The concert, outside of the complaints about being overpriced and too commercialized, received rave reviews all around and promoters announced intentions to do it again in five years.

As 1998 dawned rumors swirled of a 1999 show. In November 1998 the deal with sealed to have a 30th anniversary edition of the festival in July 1999. Early talk had the 3 headliners being Marilyn Manson, Metallica and the reemergence of Guns n Roses from exile, although only Metallica actually played the event. Marilyn Manson, suffering the controversy surrounding his alleged influence on the Columbine shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold (although it turned out they weren’t fans of the band) caused Manson to turn down the event. And GnR was in turmoil with the recent departures of Slash and Duff McKagen. Instead, the event was split between acts leftover from the last event’s era like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sheryl Crow, Bush, Counting Crows and Live; with the new generation of hard rock and nu-metal acts like Korn, Limp Bizkit, Sevendust, Godsmack, Rage Against The Machine, Insane Clown Posse and Kid Rock.

The line-up months before the event took place got criticism. Some said the festival was lined up with far too many bands with just one-hit to their name, so a generation defining moment was impossible (and you never did hear from Oleander, Lit, 2 Skinee J’s, Everclear, or Vertical Horizon much again.) Another group of complainers prophetically stated that the abundance of rowdy nu-metal acts playing back-to-back-to-back on Saturday’s bill was disaster waiting to happen. They questioned how any security force outside of a large United States Marines brigade was going to possibly control over 200,000 moshers hyped up on nu-metal. Promoters assured people the crowd would not get out of hand Saturday; chalking it up to the old generation gap, the older generation not having faith in the youth of today, what Woodstock originally went through being looked down upon for their long hair and pot smoking.

Another prophetic warning came from nay sayers on the location of the event itself. Woodstock ’69 was held on the famous Yasgur farm and Woodstock ‘94 was held in rural Saugerties, NY. The 1999 edition was to be held on a closed Air Force base which once housed toxic waste, with lots of asphalted areas to increase the bright late-July sun and practically no areas of shade. The critics worried about attendees suffering heat strokes or dehydrating. The promoters defended the decision to hold the event at the Griffiss Air Force base, claiming it was symbolic of the festival of peace being held in a closed down military base, they also assured worriers that free water stations would be scattered through out the sprawling area. July 1999 was the hottest in New York state history, being responsible for scores of heat related deaths that month. Not only was the event being held on a former Air Force base, on one side of the grounds was a New York state prison, and on the other side was a mental institution, pointed out MTV News reporter Kurt Loder, who claimed he “felt bad vibes” about the venue when MTV arrived on Thursday to set up for filming.

There had been early talk that the event was going to be woefully under equipped security wise. Event organizers were fined $100,000 by Oneida county officials because they hadn’t turned in their security plans to them in time for approval. Fortunately they had many friends throughout the county and town where the event was being held where they were willing to turn a blind eye to nearly anything, as they had banked on receiving upwards of $500,000 in sales taxes from the event. In the end, only 1,500 people out of the 15,000 strong event staff actually worked security. And there were countless reports of Woodstock security ignoring their duties for various misdeeds, including spending time urging women to show their breasts to them, taking alcoholic beverages from attendees, or simply ignoring their duties to watch the concerts. Early criticism was met by Woodstock promoters by pointing out how low the arrest statistics were for the 1994 event, saying they felt the peaceful vibe Woodstock was known for meant things would be reasonably safe. "We don't want the kids coming here to feel that there is this oppressive security presence looking over their shoulder every minute,” said co-promoter Daniel Flynn. “We want them to come here and just enjoy the event.”

To provide the hundreds of thousands of people attending the event food, beverages and the obligatory souvenirs the promoters had makeshift mini-malls constructed to meet needs. The problem was the vendors running in the makeshift mini-malls claimed the costs of operating at the event forced them to jack up their prices to astronomical levels by anyone’s standards. Bottles of water and cans of soda were priced at $4, a 4” pizza was sold for $12, a footlong hot dog also sold for $10, a single beer went for $6.50, and you don’t even want to know what commemorative t-shirts were sold for. But to make sure everybody had enough money, the event organizers were kind enough to make sure enough ATM machines were scattered through the makeshift mini-mall to withdraw more money. For a $2 surcharge plus whatever your bank charges you to use an ATM machine.

Thursday July 22nd at night and Friday July 23rd in the morning was when the concert goers started streaming into Rome, NY. They gave the rural New York small town traffic jams like they had never imagined. “Everyone was really polite then, very excited to go to the concert,” recalls gas station owner Victor Green. “They were noisy coming in, honking and hooting and hollering; but it was in good fun. They were just excited.”

Early talk started trickling out of the event that security was more concerned with making sure the crowd wasn’t sneaking in too much food and beverages, ignoring searching them for weapons as they checked bags of those entering the gates. “I saw them toss out more food and water than anything they really should have been after like knives or drugs,” said festival attender Holly Blackwell. “I guess it showed that they were more concerned about increasing their profits by forcing you to buy their expensive stuff than keeping you safe.”

The festivities officially kicked off with a performance from Godfather of Soul James Brown, who hardly got a “Live At The Apollo” response from the young crowd, but he put on a fairly well received set. The early part of the day was pretty uneventful, only G Love & Special Sauce, who were only there to replace Sugar Ray who cancelled at the last moment, made their song “Cold Beverages” the anthem of the hot July day. That evening, after spending the entire day trying to convince female concert goers to flash their breasts, some of the men attending the Sheryl Crow concert started chanting for her to flash them. She informed them they would have to pay more than the price of a Woodstock ticket to see her breasts. Actress Rosie Perez, there to introduce DMX also received a “SHOW YOUR TITS!” chant from the rowdy crowd; she quipped "3.99, Blockbuster, go rent Do the Right Thing."

The crowd chaos began Friday evening. An early sign was Offspring singer Dexter Holland becoming outraged upon seeing women having their breasts and crotches groped while attempting to crowd surf. He took a time out from performing to chew out the testosterone heavy crowd on their disgusting behavior towards women in the crowd. Over the event countless women came forward saying they had been stripped of their clothing, had their breasts fondled and had fingers inserted to their vaginas and anuses while crowd surfing, some even saying they were grabbed and forced up to crowd surf against their will so men could molest them.

Rappers the Insane Clown Posse stirred up fans during their set by saying they thought they were paid too much money to perform for their fans here, so they wanted to give some back. The rappers then announced they had balls with upwards of hundreds of dollars taped to them and began throwing them out. Of course this brought a mini-riot as fans began to wrestle over the money-balls. Fortunately this occurred early Friday evening before the harsh reality of how expensive the festival was going to be beyond the $150 tickets, as fans probably would have gone insane trying to grab the money to pay for necessities.

Headlining Friday night were nu-metalers Korn, who played a frantic hour long set. The mosh pit was gigantic and the crowd rabid as they even bravely debuted two new unfinished songs to the massive crowd. Unfortunately, the first report of a rape occurred during the set, with a woman claiming she was pulled into a mosh pit and gang raped by two men as others stood around and cheered them on. Reports came out later that a man suffered a fatal heart attack during the day on Friday as the night came to a close.

Kurt Loder claimed in an interview he believed Korn’s set Friday night set the wheels in motion for the chaos that happened the next two days. “Korn’s explosive opening of their set on Friday night, the endless sprawl of fans stretched out before the main stage swelled and surged in an eerie and tidal sway. It was at this point I believe, that a certain sinister chemistry began to be apparent between the furious assault of some of the music and the relentlessly shitty surroundings,” said Loder. But concert goer John Prince disagreed with that assessment. “No, the fans were so happy to be there still on Friday,” said Prince. “We were sunburned, sore and tired on Friday night, but we were still happy.”

Saturday’s chaos kickstarted with Kid Rock’s early afternoon performance, which his hard rock-meets-hip hop got the crowd so worked up they moshed like madmen and climaxed with throwing seemingly thousands of empty bottles and other assorted trash up in the air as they went wild during the set. Things calmed down mid-afternoon through early evening, as a dose of Dave Matthews Band, Counting Crows and Alanis Morrissette calmed the crowd down a little. But not enough for Morrissette to have a few bottles thrown at her as angry male metalheads demanded she end her set for something heavier. An EMT told a Salon.com reporter, "People are really giving us a hard time. I'm stationed down there by the light tower. They throw shit at us, steal our stuff. We had to take a woman out yesterday. I'm pretty sure her neck was broken. You can tell because her hands were starting to curl up. Her heart rate was almost non-existent and she was hardly breathing. Her boyfriend didn't want to let her go. I can't wait for Metallica tonight."

And at 8pm Saturday it was what they got as Limp Bizkit took the stage, introduced by Verne “Mini-Me” Troyer. Fans in the back started climbing up on security walls to get a better view of the performance, until Woodstock security (those who didn’t abandon post to just watch the show instead of doing their jobs) pulled them down. Then they got a better idea as Limp Bizkit played: just tear down the wall. I guess Durst barking “GIMME SOMETHING TO BREAK!” acted as their Ronald Reagan demanding the Berlin Wall be torn down. His “Time to reach down deep inside, and take all that negative energy and let that shit out of your fucking system” as the “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” Suddenly, pieces of the wood wall were being passed around the crowd as people got on it to surf on it. Durst had an epiphany; “That’s some of the phattest shit I’ve ever seen!” he exclaimed as he then formulated a plan to get the crowd to surf him on the big wood board to create his iconic Woodstock moment. Fortunately, his handlers thought better of it, as they quickly got him away from crowd surfing reminding him how unsafe it was.

After the band played “Break Stuff”, which became the unofficial Woodstock ’99 anthem, the event organizers had their speakers shut off in an attempt to get the wild crowd to calm down. Fans had started climbing up on the speaker towers and even tried to climb up to where the cameramen were up filming the event for pay-per-view and MTV. Durst spent a few minutes wondering why nobody could hear his microphone as he tried to inform the crowd they were about to play their big hit single “Nookie”. After they did they played a brief cover of George Michael’s “Faith” and the set seemingly came to an abrupt end.

Event organizers then rushed onto the stage to demand that the crowd calm down because a lot of people in the mosh pits were seriously hurt during the Bizkit set, and EMTs were having problems making it through the chaotic crowd. "Please, there are people hurt out there," an emcee announces to the crowd. "They are your brothers and sisters. They are under the towers. Please, help the medical team get them out of there. We can't continue the show until we get these dear people out of there. We have a really serious situation out there." Organizers made a ridiculous threat to pull Metallica from their headlining slot if the crowd didn’t calm down, which obviously nobody bought into since it would have caused more chaos than anything Limp Bizkit’s mosh pit anarchy did. The festival was stopped for a half hour between Bizkit and Rage Against The Machine.

When Rage took the stage, they also agreed to have their volume turned down significantly, in the hope that maybe a quieter Rage Against The Machine would have a gentler crowd. Zach De La Rocha also didn’t address the crowd with his normal political rhetoric in an attempt to keep the crowd calmer, only giving a small speech about Native American political prisoner Leonard Peltier before launching into “Freedom”, a song about him. Well, they didn’t really get their wish. While nothing as insane as crowd attempt to climb camera towers or surfing on torn down walls took place, the crowd was still violent in the mosh pits with injuries piling up galore. But not having any highlight reel material of the Bizkit set lead critics to say this proved Fred Durst and Kid Rock goading fans to go crazier instead of just playing the heavier songs without banter was the real reason behind the chaos. “I’d say from what I recall about Saturday the crowd actually went crazier for Rage than Limp,” recalls Woodstock ‘99 festival goer John Prince. “I actually had to leave the mosh pit during Rage’s performance, but I was able to stay in for Limp’s entire performance. The pits were insane. I was just covered in welts and cuts and bruises and had enough of it. I was so sore by that point, it took it out of me for the rest of the festival. I made sure to stay to the side during Metallica.”

According to event volunteer David Schneider, another gang rape occurred at the mosh pit during Rage’s set. “I saw someone push this girl into the mosh pit, a very skinny girl, maybe 90 to 100 pounds,” said Schneider. “Then a couple of the guys started taking her clothes off-not so much her top but her bottom. They pulled her pants down and they were violating her, and they were passing her back and forth. There were five guys that were raping this girl." But promoter Michael Lang called all claims of mosh pit rape outrageous during a post-Woodstock press conference. “A gang rape happening in a mosh pit is inconceivable. You can barely move in a mosh pit, it’s worse than rush hour on a Subway, you have no room.”

Rage Against The Machine bassist Tim Commerford said he felt the key reason for the audiences’ anger was due to event organizers taking away the food and beverages they brought into the event before it even began. Commerford said “When you have a show and it’s 100 degrees outside, and you’re telling your staff to take their water away so you can charge them $8 to buy some from you, you’re going to have problems. By the time we got on stage that night, we could see the kids screaming for water. It was the water, it came down to that. You take water away from people in 100 degree weather, they‘re going to riot.” Event promoters did have free water stations, but festival goers said they only worked sporadically, and they were so far away from the concert stages (reportedly about half a mile) that people didn’t want to miss the concerts, or even have the energy to walk that far and walk back to the concerts. One attendee recalled a security guard snatching a canteen of water out of his hand and told him to “go to the pizza tent if you’re thirsty.”

Metallica played an extra long set to a much calmer crowd to end Saturday. It’s debatable whether the crowd was calmer due to tiring itself out by 11pm or if Metallica defused things by throwing in songs from their much-maligned material from Load and Reload to kill off their energy.

When the sun came up on Sunday morning to reveal the field, it looked like a tornado had ripped through the air field. “I’m sure providing trash clean ups for hundreds of thousands of people is impossible, but they didn’t seem to make much of an attempt to do it,“ Woodstock ‘99 attendee Marsha Smith remembered. “Trash didn’t look like it was ever picked up. The bins were filled up instantly on Friday, and by Saturday people knew this so just littered.” Smith also cited the poor sanitary service of restrooms “The bathrooms were a disaster, worse than anything I’d ever seen, and I’ve seen some pretty nasty restrooms. It was just so disgusting. They didn’t have nearly enough to go around, so of course they were backed up with shit and toilet paper pretty fast. We were so angry. We paid good money to go there and they couldn’t even pump shit out of a portable toilet for us?” Woodstock promoters claimed they had 2,000 toilets for 200,000 people. Many concert attenders recall having to basically build a dam to prevent urine streams running out of clogged portable toilets from running out to their camp ground to soak into their tents.

A lot of the angry concert goers, angry at the insanely high prices of food and beverages had also run out of money by Sunday. “It would have been nice if they had warned us how expensive stuff was going to be,” said John Prince. Bad hangovers from Saturday night combined with lots of grumbling between festival goers about how expensive everything was, how filthy everything was, how long the lines were for the free water and how limited the showers were to add to the disgruntled mood.

Lots of people also left on Sunday, taking the crowd attendance figure to an estimated 150,000. Although that might have had more to do with the lack of big names playing on Sunday than anger about living conditions and/or sanitation. Sunday’s biggest act were the Red Hot Chili Peppers closing that night, and there had been rumors floating around about a mystery band, ranging from anyone from Guns n Roses to Prince to Paul McCartney to an All-Star jam band made up of Woodstock ‘69 veterans. Of course none of the rumors came true. It would be totally ridiculous for an event selling tickets to have an act who could possibly sell even more tickets if announced to the public to keep them hidden. The far superior line up of the 1994 Woodstock did outdo them in attendance by over 100,000 estimated people, after all.

The Sunday performances really didn’t gain any notice, as the press was still talking about Limp Bizkit and their fans going nuts. Elvis Costello tried to capture the Woodstock spirit with “What’s So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding”, Jewel played her brand of light folk rock, Creed brought out former Doors guitarist Robbie Krieger to play some Doors covers, and the crowd ripped off a tarp and used it to throw willing participants up in the air during Godsmack’s set until security forced them to stop. So then they just went back to beating the hell out of each other in the mosh pit like usual.

And later that night, the event came to an end with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. The band had been on a tour with a non-violence charity that was spreading a message against school shootings; they held contests through schools where the best student essays on how to stop school shootings would get free Chili Peppers tickets. The group gave out candles to the estimated 10,000 who stopped by their booth on Sunday before RHCP took the stage to hold up in memorial to the Columbine shooting victims at a point in the Chili Peppers set during “Under The Bridge”, which the band had been dedicating to Columbine victims on their tour.

The set started out without incident, only Flea performing totally nude stood out. Then the crowd started setting small bonfires with the “peace candles”. The band thought nothing of it, until they continued to grow. Their set was prematurely stopped, as promoters rushed the stage to warn the crowd about the growing fires. They told the crowd the show would be temporarily stopped because fire fighters were on their way out there to put out the fires, and afterwards the Red Hot Chili Peppers would come back out to finish the second half of their show. The fire trucks never drove through, but the Chili Peppers did return to the stage to play a quick cover of Jimi Hendrix’s “Fire” as the actual fires continued to grow. The Chili Peppers defended their choice of the ironic choice of a song. Drummer Chad Smith said in an interview “We didn’t play ‘Fire’ as some kind of joke about the fires. We had it in our set list going in, and all we saw from the stage were a bunch of small fires, nothing serious. We didn’t think anything of it.”

Shortly afterwards a video package from Hendrix’s 1969 Woodstock performance played on the big screens, ending with a lazer-Hendrix appearing on stage and then floating up in the sky back to rock n roll heaven. This being the big climax promoters had promised: a half-Chili Peppers set followed by viewing the Hendrix concert (which had been playing constantly at various television screens throughout the festival grounds) was quite a letdown, and the promoters leading them on into thinking something big was going to end things didn’t help matters any.

As the fires grew the fans then started rioting. Wood was torn from security barriers (well, the ones left standing) were torn off and tossed onto the fires to make them even larger. Then metal barriers were ripped apart and tossed into the fire. Next came speaker towers being knocked down, as well as light rigs; which in a way was impressive since they were built sturdy enough to stand in hurricane force winds, but according to eye witnesses less than 20 rioters knocked them down in under a half an hour. Several rioters picked up the large speakers from the towers they knocked over and tossed them onto the fire as well.

Next the rioters turned their attention to grabbing what they could out of merchandise trailers and then setting them on fire as well. ATM machines were also broken into and the money looted. Festival goer John Prince witnessed some of the rioting before wisely evacuating and recalled thinking “Where are the Woodstock security [guards]? Were are the police? Where are the fire fighters? Surely someone called 911 by now, right? It was so pathetic of the organization that they let it get out of hand that much,” said Prince. “They never should have continued the performances until those first fires were put out. Maybe the people still would have set new fires and rioted anyway, but at least you would have had more control.”

Police finally showed up and began pepper spraying rioters to regain control and fire crews put out the numerous fires. Finally the rioters were either arrested or ran away to finally end the chaos early Monday morning. In the end they did over $2 million in damages (counting both structure damage and the cost of stolen or destroyed merchandise) and a total of 44 rioters were arrested.

So why did it take authorities so long to arrive at Woodstock? According to a police spokesperson at a post-event press conference, they simply didn’t know how bad it was until later. They were under the impression from the only reports they got was that it was a small breakout being handled by event security, and not the violent riot which Woodstock security fled away from in reality. The Rome, NY fire fighters were said by Lang to be too afraid of trying to drive fire trucks through a crowd of over 150,000 people so they waited a long time to actually show up.

Some people in the media who attended both the 1994 and 1999 events talked of far superior sanitation and security for the 1994 event, which kept things in check. Reporters like Otto Luck and Kurt Loder recalled seeing security actively patrolling the crowd non-stop during the 1994 event but scarcely seeing them in 1999. Reporters and fans both recalled a much better set up regarding toilets and trash clean up, with one concert goer telling a reporter during an interview she estimated 1 trash area per acre at Woodstock ’99.

And then of course came the blame game.

Despite all evidence pointing to the contrary, promoter Michael Lang refused to believe the riot happened out of anger at the Woodstock event. “I don’t think these kids were making an anti-Woodstock statement, I think it was just an anti-establishment and anti-everything statement.”

The Woodstock promoter mantra during the fall out was to constantly point out that they had many performances over 3 days and all but a half-dozen were peaceful. They claimed the media was giving a totally unfair portrayal of the weekend, Scher said, “I think the press has unfairly ignored that majority group and the great music that happened and focused on a minority of people who had complaints, some legitimate, and the problems that occurred Sunday night/early Monday morning, which really began, problems that is, well after the festival music-wise was over with. About 90 minutes after it was over with,” he said. “Then you have the press, journalists, who weren't at the festival, who had no first-hand knowledge whatsoever of the festival, but took news clips, second hand information, trying to weave a story, that is largely inaccurate. I think that that's the unfairness of a large part of the coverage to date.”

Even the National Organization for Women got involved in the debate, as a total of 5 women said they were raped on the festival grounds and another was followed into a near by gas station bathroom by another festival goer and raped there. They claimed one security worker for the festival came forward to them saying they knew about every one of the rapes but the promoters didn’t want police on the festival grounds because they knew a lot of drugs were going around and didn’t want festival attenders being busted on drug charges. Although nothing came of these charges

MTV surprisingly attacked one of their sacred cows in Limp Bizkit at the time. Despite the band being the most heavily played rock band on the station, constantly on flagship show Total Request Live, MTV News’ Kurt Loder bashed the band in every media interview he did, since he was the go-to guy for seemingly every press outlet who wanted MTV’s take on the situation. “I thought that the Limp Bizkit performance was one of the most reprehensible things I have ever seen.” But they did play a music video Fred Durst directed himself giving “their side” of the Woodstock controversy. That video (for “ReArrange”) was their first statement on the matter, since Durst and the rest of Limp Bizkit refused to comment on the matter for months. When Durst finally did start talking about it in interviews, he gave a generic “We’re innocent of inciting anything” response, pointing out the actual rioting happened 29 hours after Limp Bizkit’s performance. Limp Bizkit, a year later, were sued by a family of a fan that was killed in a mosh pit during an Australian festival performance. They were found not liable.

The Woodstock promoters were defiant in defending themselves, playing the events off as a once in a lifetime occurrence, saying they didn’t believe any of the rapes or riots tainted their brand, promising to be back with another event in 2004 or 2009. Lang did later admit in interviews he should have spaced out the heavy acts more “If I knew a riot was coming I might have done a little different booking. I would have tried not to have had as edgy a bill as we
had. I would have programmed the days better, tried to spread them out a bit more.” He also seemed to write off the entire event as not Woodstock. “That wasn’t Woodstock, that was more of an MTV thing.” Lang though initially claimed some sort of conspiracy was behind the rioting. “We saw [rioting] kids with their faces painted black, wearing the same-colored shirts and headbands deliberately setting fires…It certainly looks premeditated.” Lang backed off that claim in subsequent interviews on the matter.

But even some of the bands who performed at the show weren’t buying their blamelessness, and some even agreed with the media belief that the large amount of heavy rock acts were partially to blame. Moby said in an interview a few days after the event “You don’t have a rock festival based on peace and love and invite Kid Rock and the Insane Clown Posse. It’s just foolishness,” said Moby. “Look at the people who go to their shows regularly, macho idiots. So of course those same macho idiots are going to show up at your rock festival and cause trouble.” Rolling Stone writer Neil Strauss claimed that the television cameras for MTV and pay-per-view were a chief instigator of the actions, claiming that the kids were putting on a show for the media and if the event wasn’t filmed they would not have rioted.

Some concert goers aren’t as quick to blame the music, though. “You’ve got to remember that the rioting happened at THE END of the event,” said Prince. “The fires and looting would have happened immediately after Limp Bizkit or Rage Against The Machine performed or during the shows if the music was to blame. People were pissed after it was all over and mostly took it out on Woodstock property and those vendors charging so damn much for necessities. I think that spells out who was to blame pretty clearly.”

If one good thing came from the Woodstock ‘99 incident, it is that a increased importance on crowd safety was placed in public consciousness. Woodstock ‘99’s promoters were seemingly asleep at the wheel on a lot of issues, believing that good faith in people was enough to keep everybody safe. But subsequent American festivals like Coachella, Bonnaroo, Lollapalooza, Ozzfest, Summer Jam and countless others have not had anywhere near the out of control incidents as Woodstock ’99 had. A non-profit organization called Fans Everywhere was set up as a place where concert goers could post information on sexual assaults they saw on their website (that has since been removed) to help collect evidence, with rewards being given out to tips that lead to sexual assaulters’ arrests.

MTV’s Kurt Loder raised the ire of the Woodstock promoters by speaking out against them to seemingly anybody who would listen. Loder gave interviews to TV shows, hosted several MTV specials about the aftermath of the event, wrote an essay for Rolling Stone Magazine about it, and became the media’s go-to guy in their coverage. When asked about Loder leading the media attacks on Scher, Lang and security chief Daniel Flynn, Scher said, “We have tried repeatedly to engage Mr. Loder in a responsible and meaningful dialogue regarding all of the aspects of Woodstock. He, however, for reasons that he has not shared with us, has a very dark and negative view of the entire event. The attendees, and unfortunately, the overall event and its surroundings. We would welcome a fair discussion with Mr. Loder, but I think that can only come about, if those of you that had a good time at Woodstock made your feelings known to him.”

Michael Lang started exploring making Woodstock ’09 happen, citing a need to make money since he claimed to have lost nearly $10 million on the event, even though many people have questioned Lang‘s truthfulness on the subject of Woodstock‘s grossed money, some claiming by Lang‘s math tickets would have sold for $2 instead of $150, not even counting advertising revenue or pay-per-view revenue, for his figures to be accurate. But as July has come and gone and August is upon us with no announcement it looks as if 2014 would be the next shot to make the 45th anniversary festival, or 2019 for the 50th.

When Lang was asked about what light he believed Woodstock ‘99 would be seen in history, he responded “What happened on Sunday will be a part of the experience. I think as time goes on it will find it's proper perspective as the last two hours of what was a great weekend.” It still hasn’t. John Scher on the other hand asked the fans who wanted Woodstock to come back to appeal to the media, to let them know it deserved better coverage. “If there is to be a Woodstock in the future, it can only be because the people want it. It's such a monumental task to put it on, so the vast majority of people who had a great time have to say something to MTV, publications like Rolling Stone and Spin, so that the majority can be heard. So that what happened that weekend will not be forever scarred by the dastardly deeds of a few.”

Sunday, July 5, 2009

The Decline Of Western Civilization IV: The Hip-Hop Years



Penelope Spheeris will never read this, obviously. But if she were, I have a open sales pitch for her. I mean, I sat through Senseless, it’s the least she can do for me as an apology.

Your documentaries are awesome. Decline Of Western Civilization I was awe-inspiring, Part III was absolutely gripping seeing the “crust punk” sub-culture. And of course Part II was the crown jewel in your career thus far. It is simply one of the, if not THE, greatest music documentary ever made. I should do a glowing write-up of it some time. Or better yet, attempt a “Where Are They Now?” post on it.

Seeing it again the other day made me think: it’s time for Part IV. But not on rock, that shit is too boring these days to deserve a documentary. What, you think sticking a camera in front of Nickelback or Green Day would get you anything more entertaining than filming paint dry? No, it’s time to explore the wild and wonderful world of Hip Hop.

It has been the most beloved music of the kiddies since the 90s, it’s filled with more than enough colorful characters to make a captivating documentary (despite what “The Show” may have shown you. Goddamn that was a dull movie....) And it has everything Decline Part II had....but bigger and better.

You can find the music veterans like Chuck D, KRS One, Dr. Dre, and Ice-T to play the role held by Lemmy, Alice Cooper and Tyler & Perry. The ones who have been there, done that, and earned the right to look down their noses at those kids today.

You have scores of goofy white rappers pretending to be from the streets to play the role of “deluded clowns” that Odin occupied in Part II.

You have thousands of so-called “Hip Hop Honey’s” or “Video Vixens” to choose from. I know one of them can give you a comparable lulz-inducing quote to match “I’m Working On My Actressing.”

If you plied Lil’ Wayne with enough Sizzurp, I’m sure he could give you a Chris Holmes moment.

You can go track down Soulja Boy to play Faster Pussycat’s role of “cocky young star who already thinks he’s equal to the legends.”

A new edition could be tracking down some of flash-in-the-pan bling bling rappers from earlier this decade who are broke and have them admit the jewelry, cars and other lavish items they flashed weren’t really there’s.

Another new edition could be doing going on a fact-finding mission of some gangsta rapper’s past and hit him with the info on camera that he wouldn’t want the music buying public to know. And beyond stuff already known like 50 Cent posing for a picture with Bette Middler or Rick Ross being an ex-Corrections Officer. Something like The Game collects Beanie Babies or discovering Suge Knight loves the Twilight series. Rappers have dark secrets.

And that’s just a small sampling of ideas on how great this film could be. Then you could toss on Nas or Mos Def at the end like you did for Megadeth to show the juxtaposition of how “real” musicians will always get longevity while trend-hoppers never last.

So, please, make this happen.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Requiem For A Jacko



The world hardly needs another Michael Jackson tribute. There’s probably billions online in every language in existence. But let’s get it out of the way: yes, he wrote some fantastic songs, the best being Billie Jean. Yes, his dancing was poetry in motion. Nuff said.

But looking at the scores of tributes in the media, you would have thought Michael Jackson died 16 years ago, like his life from summer 1993 onward never happened. Like he dropped dead shortly after setting ratings records in America with his Super Bowl Half Time performance, which nearly 100 million American televisions displayed.

It’s like Michael Jackson never was reviled for over 15 years as a pedophile. It’s like Michael Jackson’s media coverage wasn’t limited to bad Jay Leno jokes and people debating if his face could handle one more plastic surgery on Entertainment Tonight. It’s like Michael Jackson didn’t release two epic flops for the ages, 1995’s HIStory and 2001’s Invincible that cost Sony Music an assload of money they never recouped. It’s like critics never gave him mediocre-to-terrible reviews on Bad onwards. It’s like people weren’t only interested in his Madison Square Garden masturbatory self-celebration in 2001 just because it was so freaky and the tip of his nose possibly fell off while performing. It’s like the public opinion wasn’t that only absolute mentally ill freaks of society came out to the court he was at to support him during his 2004 child molestation trial. It’s like the public opinion after Living With Michael Jackson aired was always “Martin Bashir is evil!” and not “Wow, Michael Jackson’s mental state is so far gone he honestly doesn’t realize what he’s doing.”

All of those were totally opposite opinions on June 25th, 2009 before the announcement of Jackson’s passing was made.

When someone dies, especially a celebrity we didn’t have to deal with in our lives on a day to day basis, all of their wrongs are instantly erased. So here are some cold, hard truths. Marlon Brando was a morbidly obese megalomaniac who let his erratic behavior overshadow his film career. Tupac Shakur was not viewed as anything but a run-of-the-mill gangsta rapper in his lifetime. Brandon Lee was a B-movie actor who was always going to be a B-movie actor. Selena’s posthumous English album was far too generic to have made her “the new Madonna”. Marilyn Monroe was never going to get close to winning an Oscar. And coming out as a Michael Jackson fan prior to his death got close to the same reaction coming out as homosexual to a bunch of bigots would get you.

Real Michael Jackson fans were a loud and proud tiny subculture during his 1993-2009 era as entertainment media’s most beloved freak of nature. They, along with their idol, endured persecution and mockery by the rest of the world that gave them almost proud martyr-complexes not unlike Jackson’s. They all honestly believed the constant accusations that Jackson was a pedophile were a media conspiracy character assassination because the white media couldn’t stomach seeing a successful African American richer than they were, more famous than they were, holding the ultimate white-boy high water mark creation of the Lennon/McCartney catalog in his possession. They were the same type of people who will fiercely debate you about the government’s knowledge of UFOs landing in the United States, even though you never consented to said debate. Trust me, if any of you recent MJ converts attend any public service memorials around the country, you will be going out of your way to avoid being in the presence of real Michael Jackson true believers.

Michael Jackson spent half of his life as a beloved entertainer and the other half as a despised sideshow. He lived a very sad life. He was forced into the public eye before he was old enough to understand what they meant, and therefore never had a clear grasp on reality. Sometimes he looked like he loved being in the middle of the spectacle that even going out to the store to buy a carton of eggs would bring him. Other times he’d release a single called “Leave Me Alone” and decry the tabloid obsession that reduced his life to staying in a bizarre fantasy amusement park nearly 24/7. But it was common knowledge his people would plant outlandish stories to the tabloids to keep his name in the press, which Jackson would always deny. When other celebrities have pulled the “PAY ATTENTION TO ME......OMG HOW DARE YOU KEEP PUTTING ME IN TABLOIDS!” doublespeak, they’re instantly shutdown as frauds. Jackson got away with it for years. Because he was the first true new era tabloid icon. Sure, his good friend Elizabeth Taylor had gotten similar treatment before he was old enough to sing “ABC”, but I doubt anyone will ever be such a permanent fixture in tabloids as Jackson was. And unlike most celebrities, his tabloid coverage increased as his stardom faded. His last burst of National Enquirer headlines revolved around the belief that he was dying from Emphysema in late 2008, which his people denied. If Jackson got even a tiny royalty on tabloid coverage, not only would his financial problems never have occurred, but he’d be giving Bill Gates and Warren Buffet a run for their money on the Fortune 500 list.

So now they’ve got one last chance to wring every drop of sideshow ratings/sales boom out of him as the run-up to his memorial services and debate on how he actually died continues. You just know every tabloid outlet is looking for a way to bribe some hospital worker to swipe some of his autopsy photos for the ultimate selling issue. Because you know those are going to be so disturbing you must gawk. One unconfirmed report out of Australia says under his wig he only had “peach fuzz” for hair, he weighed around 100 pounds, wore a bunch of make-up to cover “13 plastic surgery scars” on his face, and his arms were covered in trackmarks. But until they can get that ultimate exploitation dollar out of Wacko Jacko Inc. and have to face the public scrutiny and lawsuits, they’re doing a 360 and pretending like they actually cared. No, they loved his relationship with his children, they never called for them to be taken away from him. They loved his eccentricities, they never claimed he was mentally ill. They’re devoting the most coverage of any celebrity event in history because they cared about him and want to help his family find the true cause of his untimely death, not because they’re going to get a fortune and a ratings bonanza out of it.

So for the time being, Jackson is getting a state of adoration that’s possibly more than he ever received during the Thriller years. Right now history looks like it is about to re-write him, definitely on Elvis Pressley’s level if not The Beatles as a musical innovator. The truth is Jackson was smart enough to see the MTV revolution coming and jumped on it, making eye catching videos with huge budgets in MTV’s infancy when a simple performance miming piece was good enough for most music videos of the day. And taking Jackson on as MTV’s first “black music” airplay experiment was only an impressive risk taking maneuver to MTV. Jackson was already a superstar the day they decided to play Billie Jean, as Off The Wall was a multi-platinum hit popular with white people as well, and he had been in the public eye for nearly 20 years at that point. He was also arguably the most non-threatening African American male in music history. They had a chance to push Rick James as their first black video star, who was more of a traditional rock star in attitude than Jackson ever was, who made an album equally as good as Thriller. But James was dangerous to lily white people. Rick James didn’t care that you knew he was on drugs, and if you didn’t like it, he’d fuck your girlfriend. Michael Jackson was asexual, polite, probably didn’t even drink a glass of wine until years later. Sure, he was a handsome guy with smooth dance moves that white women had crushes on, but you knew he’d politely turn them down; whereas Rick James would have invited as many of them as he could fit into his suite for a wild coke-orgy and written a awesome song all about it. And there was a ton of great, innovative hip-hop being produced at the time that MTV wouldn’t embrace until years later. Playing that would have been risky. Michael Jackson.....a surefire hit.

But Michael Jackson did one thing not even a terrorist attack, death of a former President, election, Super Bowl, World Cup, celebrity sex tape, or any other world event could do: he shutdown some of the biggest sites on the internet: Wikipedia, Google, YouTube, TMZ, and every blogging and social networking site in existence for upwards of hours. Not to mention put a strain on all the major cellphone carriers as friends called and text messaged friends to discuss the news. His legacy will be written as a man who, for a brief time, united a large chunk of the entire music listening populace together with one album. In death he united a large chunk of the internet surfing populace to see if his demise was true or another internet hoax. And they said the internet peaked with Rickrolling.

In all sincerity, though, I wish the best for his children. And more importantly I hope when they’re old enough they realize what celebrity did to their father and don’t stumble into the same fame pitfalls.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The Holy Bible II: King (Richey) James Version




You all know the story. There was once a guy named Richey James Edwards who wrote some of the most intelligent rock lyrics of all time and pretended like he played guitar for a Welsh band called the Manic Street Preachers. After releasing his brilliant, disturbing masterpiece The Holy Bible, he disappeared off of the face of the earth in 1995.....he hasn’t been seen since.

Some of his lyrics were used on the band’s 1996 follow up Everything Must Go (Elvis Impersonator: Blackpool Pier, Kevin Carter, Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky, The Girl Who Wanted To Be God, Removables) but after that the band did the best they could to move on without him. They achieved massive success without him, with some arguing his bleakness was holding them down. But they never forgot about him, claiming for years they planned on releasing some writings he left behind in a book.

But then, almost 15 years after his disappearance, the band has decided it is the right time to revisit the lyrics he gave to them before disappearing. The time was right, they thought. They’re coming off of one of their most successful albums in their career (2007’s Send Away The Tigers) so they can’t be accused of trying to cash in with a cheap gimmick. If anything, they’re committing commercial suicide, since the pitch black outlook of Edwards’s lyrics aren’t exactly Radio Disney material to put it mildly. And needless to say the album hasn’t exactly set the charts on fire in the UK, quickly falling out of the top 40 already.

But this isn’t about sales, they knew that going in, refusing to release any singles from the album. This is a tribute to their departed best friend, and a reminder of how when it comes to intellect in rock lyrics, there is Richey Edwards and then there is everybody else. Richey goes where few people have the courage to ponder on. On The Holy Bible there were songs about prostitution, dictatorship, genocide, and those were just the singles. He had a college degree in world history and wasn’t afraid to use it. He was also a manic depressive alcoholic, with self mutilation and anorexic issues, and he was totally open about it. Needless to say, they don’t make rock stars like Richey James Edwards anymore.

The album itself acts as an intended sequel to The Holy Bible. They toss in some audio samples to begin some songs like T.H.B. did. The reversed R’s (not in the Korn way, mind you) are back for the artwork. And the cover, depicting a little girl’s reaction to her face becoming bloodied, is drawn by artist Jenny Saville, who also did T.H.B.’s cover of a morbidly obese woman admiring herself in the mirror. And the fury of the lyrics, which Nicky Wire just couldn’t match, are back ten fold. It’s like it’s 1994 all over again.

One thing different is production is handled by Steve Albini. The problem is, the Manic Street Preachers don’t wear it very well. Albini’s masterwork, Nirvana’s In Utero, was awesome because the band already had the sonic power naturally that they didn’t suffer from the obsessively hands-off Albini. Manics on the other hand, they sound much better with studio help. Not that they’re a bad band by any means, but stripped down they sound rather bland, so it is not a good match. But that’s okay because the feeling that they’re obviously so reinvigorated carries them. And it’s certainly better than the over-compressed production T.H.B. got (the 10th anniversary release with the superior US Mix that doesn’t sound like it was recorded by playing into an old pay phone is where it’s at.)

And it’s not about the music. It’s about the lyrics. Richey was a fearless writer. He wasn’t going to pander to dumbasses in top 40 land. No, he made you do some work. Even the smartest MSP fans had to do a little research to get some historical references. The way MSP worked was Richey would come to James Dean Bradfield, Sean Moore and Nicky Wire with a bunch of prose some would call rambling in a lot of cases, and they’d edit it down to semi-workable rock lyrics. This time, the band included Richey’s original prose so you could see what they had to work with. A lot of times it’s a little disappointing that they cut out some great stuff. Lines like “I wanted to kill, but my tears love” and “Here I am lover man. Here I am abortion. Here I am miscarriage. Here I am selfish man.” are great director’s cut material. The most edited down song is the 2 pages of prose chopped down into a song with much repeating on lines in “William’s Last Words”. But we’ll get to that one later.

You even have to wonder if the title “Journal For Plague Lovers” could be Richey-speak for “The Holy Bible”. Think about it, the books in the bible are not unlike journal entries (although fictional ones, so maybe it’s more like certain Judy Blume books) and plagues are written as revenge strikes from god that its writers and readers adore.....a journal for plague lovers. And much like the real Holy Bible, people are going to pour over these cryptic writings looking for meaning. Did Richey spell out his final plans anywhere here? Was he sane enough at the time it was written for his cryptic metaphors to really mean something still? And even if they did really mean something will anybody ever understand them?

Kicking things off Peeled Apples is the chaotic nihilistic adventure that they just haven’t been able to do since ’94. The lyrics give a shout-out to Noam Chomsky’s book “Rethinking Camelot”, which took the legacy of John F. Kennedy to task. “Falcons attack the pigeons in the West Wing at night” is one of those lines only Richey Edwards could have come up with. Poetic, biting politically. You don’t get that anymore.

Jackie Collins Existential Question Time takes things down a few notches musically. If you’re wondering who Jackie Collins is, she’s a romance novel writer who has a reputation for writing some of the trashiest, stupidest pieces of literature known to (wo)man. The song seems to deal with the breakdown of the romantic institution, with Edwards singling out Collins’s lust-over-love books (for reasons only known to him) to maybe make his point about the media playing a role in its downfall? Or is the key to the song meaning in the “Oh mummy, what’s a Sex Pistol?” line. Is that a reference to revolutions failing? A pun talking about the failure of families to sexually educate their children properly? Or did Richey just write it for the lulz?

Another great song is Me And Stephen Hawking, featuring some very-dated and very-British references to infamous genetically engineered animals, a famous British pro wrestler used as a metaphor for all of working class England, and a delicious pun using Stephen Hawking’s lack of a sex life in the chorus. Fucking brilliant.

We get a ballad with This Joke Sport Severed that would probably be the best single if the band had chosen to release some. Using some of the many poetic equating of the emotional torture of a bad relationship to the physical torture of.....torture. There’s even a very low-budget nod to the massive orchestral break in The Beatles’s “A Day In The Life” at 1:19. That took some balls to attempt. Even Noel Gallagher never went that far in his Beatle-worship with Oasis.

The title track Journal For Plague Lovers sounds like what Dave Grohl reuniting with Albini for a Foo Fighters record would sound like. But it harshly attacks people who “leave it all in god’s hands” pinning their triumphs and tragedies on the invisible man in the sky. Obviously this didn’t sit well with Mr. Edwards, so he lets the “perfect actors” leading the charge in dumbing down society 4 Christ have it.

She Bathed Herself In A Bath Of Bleach sounds like a title Kurt Cobain would have been kicking around for the “In Utero” follow up. And it sounds like it too. Not just because of the patented Albini micing, but the soft verse, exploding chorus dynamic Cobain loved writing is in full effect. Lyrically it appears to be about a woman dealing with the emotional trauma of a violent relationship. Especially with the pleas of “Stop hurting her” that are in the original lyrics that Wire took out.

Playing the role of “Small Black Flowers....” musically is Facing Page: Top Left. Beautiful strings and acoustic guitar make what I’m sure ends Side-A of the vinyl edition. References to medical care about beauty issues would make you think it’s the “4st 7lb” of the album, but I don’t think it is. That’s coming up later.

Holy shit, a drum machine on an Albini record? How did that sneak on there? Marlon JD is assumed by most people to reference famous 50s actors Marlon Brandon and James Dean, or maybe that’s too easy. But the general belief is Edwards was referencing a guy who lived out his life to old age and disappointed everybody by fucking up along the way and getting fat and wrinkled, against a guy who died really young being given the benefit that you get to wonder what might have been when you die young. A comparison could be drawn to Edwards and Wire. Richey vanished after releasing his magnum opus, Wire stayed around long enough to release some really embarrassing songs not even counting his solo album. Maybe all musicians should listen to Neil Young. Neil Young should have listened to Neil Young‘s advice.

Doors Closing Slowly is full of religious imagery that would be tempting to say is Edwards painting himself as the martyr suffering for great art. But while he did have quite an ego, I don’t think he was that pretentious. It ends with a sample from the truly awful film version of “The Virgin Suicides”, which Nicky Wire went out of his way to assure us was only in tribute to Richey’s fondness for the book and he too thinks the movie sucked dog dick and Sofia Coppola is a talentless, nepotistically enhanced moron. Well, he didn’t say that last part, but I’m confident he agrees with it.

Following that comes All Is Vanity, which is highlighted by the always underrated drumming of Sean Moore (although, again the Albini drum-recording method doesn’t suit him) and features Edwards feeling that just living life makes you vain, and wondering if having all of your decisions made for you in a communist dictatorship would make you happier? Hmm, maybe Richey is hiding in North Korea?

Musically Pretension/Repulsion sounds like out-take from “Know Your Enemy” but is another one of Richey’s finest lyric gems. What other rock lyricist would namecheck the famous Ingres painting Odalique. That painting was when the long-standing male trend of saying “This beautiful woman is really hot, but she’s just not sexy enough naturally. Let’s use our editing powers to change some flaws.” Ingres gave his model a back longer than any ever seen in nature (“extra bones for sale”) and thus kickstarted a revolution that would give computer based photo editors work until kingdom come.

Could you imagine a radio DJ having to announce the title Virginia’s State Epileptic Colony as a title? Man, I wish there was a way to rig the charts so they’d have to play that song, just to hear some guy in his cheesy rock radio DJ voice “That was the Manic Street Preachers with their new single ‘Virginia’s State Epilep....Epiwhat?” Supposedly the song is about the real Epileptic Colony in Virginia that used patients like guinea pigs, although a Google search didn’t show me anything about it. But you have to wonder how much of it is referencing Richey Edwards’s stay at the Priory Clinic in 1993 for self-mutilation, substance abuse and anorexia. His mentions of it in interviews during “The Holy Bible” press tour (along with Nicky Wire’s descriptions of what he saw when he visited him there) kind of match the descriptions of the song. But maybe it is solely about the Epileptic Colony Google doesn’t know about.

Okay, the most talked about track is by far William’s Last Words. It’s nothing but lines about being incredibly depressed, talking about leaving family and friends and other things that seem to be Richey Edwards all but announcing his intentions to leave or commit suicide. But it’s really not. No, in the album’s booklet, for all 6 people who still buy CDs, you can see the complete “William’s Last Words” in all of its rambling, grammatically incorrect glory. It seems to be some kind of bizarre short-story about a old man having a conversation with an old friend, knowing he’s close to death. Now granted, if you wanted to analyze to the extreme, you could still make the argument that Edwards was using this story to say goodbye to friends and family, but James Dean Bradfield and Nicky Wire both say Richey would never write something that melodramatic. If Edwards was going to do something like that, he would have left a private note, not in a sappy weepy song. No, Wire edited down the words to make it look that way it seems. He also sings the song instead of Bradfield. And because of the emotional weight of the song (due to his editing of it) it is the only time Nicky will ever get a pass from people singing. Because to put it bluntly, what Richey Edwards was to guitar playing, Nicky Wire is to singing. He’s H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! But the music is beautiful enough around him to disguise it.

Fortunately the record doesn’t end with that engineered-downer. No, Bag Lady, which announces “I am not dead” as the opening line, which gets maximum attention because of what it follows, is a hidden track that sounds like the rawness of “The Holy Bible”, kind of sounding like “Archives Of Pain” from that album. It’s just an awesome denouncement of all things held sacred, just like T.H.B. was. Such a great, invigorating way to close things......unless you got the vinyl that it isn’t on. Then Nicky Wire croaking is the last thing you’ll hear. Sucks for you.

All in all, this is a celebration of one of the greatest minds rock n roll ever produced. It isn’t for everybody, obviously. Really, it’s going to appeal to so few people you can say it’s for nobody. But if you like your rock lyrics bleak, cynical, cryptically poetic, nihilistic, depressing, scholarly and in need of a lyric sheet due to the thick Welsh accent of the singer.....then this is for you.

RATING: 5/5

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

This Is The New Shit (In A Few Places)




When “The Golden Age Of The Grotesque” came out, seemingly all of the reviews had a portion in them mentioning the infamous The Onion parody-article that came out after “Holy Wood” sold disappointingly in America (worldwide its Marilyn Manson’s best-selling album) claiming Manson had to cancel his world tour to go door to door trying to shock middle-America. That article was believed by many to be the final nail in Marilyn Manson’s career-coffin. He had been surpassed by Eminem as conservative America’s musical public enemy #1, as people stopped being offended by him after Columbine. But I think Manson’s career was hurt before then. The “Long Hard Road Out Of Hell” autobiography demystified Marilyn Manson to show him as Brian Warner. It was like if you were watching one of the Nightmare On Elm Street movies and Freddy Kruger ripped off his burn-victim latex mask to remind you he’s really just harmless Robert Englund in reality.

Marilyn Manson worked at its best when there was the menacing mystery behind the band. Looking at those American Family Association started-rumors about Manson giving drugs to children and refusing to perform unless the audience performed animal sacrifice for him by killing (of course) puppies being thrown into the crowd, they sure seem laughable. I don’t know how people were so stupid to believe those tales (and those he sued for slander for involving kidnapping teenage runaways among other things) but because Manson kept his image so controlled they had an air of believability to those so frightened by him. So when he decided to make some money writing a book telling us all about Brian Warner, it was career suicide. Maybe he felt he had to do it because the rumors about him were so out of control he got daily death threats before concerts and people were blaming him for a spike in teenage suicide. But he should have had someone like Frank Zappa intervening against Alice Cooper going to the press to deny that he really killed that chicken on stage. Cooper’s career would have been over before it began if Zappa didn’t stop him.



But Marilyn Manson version 2.0 and 3.0 has been about trying to find ways out of being the expected satanic guy ripping up bibles on stage. With “The Golden Age Of The Grotesque” he went from Satanic metal singer to campy burlesque kingpin on stage. On the 2007 follow-up “Eat Me, Drink Me” every trace of shock was completely erased, and Manson delivered a record that was half confessional pieces about his depression after his divorce and half self-referencing campy songs for the fans who stuck with him. It definitely didn’t win him any new fans, even though Manson has set his sights on the Hot Topic set, which is mostly made up of 13 year old girls there to buy Twilight merchandise. But it was at least an attempt at something new, which was the key reason “Holy Wood” got such a negative reaction from people.

Of course there was a vocal bunch of his fanbase that were chiding them to get back to writing like it was still 1996 and he was still the enemy of the christian state. So early talk about this record had Manson going around comparing it to their most beloved record “Antichrist Superstar” in terms of being a heavy, nihilistic metal record. Well, it’s not. Not even close. “High End Of Low” sounds closer to “Holy Wood” Which isn’t a bad thing, but getting your fans excited for something it clearly isn’t is a terrible idea. Like when Oasis always claim their new record is “the album we should have made to follow (What‘s The Story) Morning Glory” and it always disappoints and they have to say it again for the follow up. Although Manson did give a far-more honest description of the album when he said “It’s about having my soul trampled on by women, but is also something that makes you laugh.” Although that basically describes his last album, minus the laughs.

Devour is the opening track, and it’s one that will automatically kill any “Spooky Kid’s” hopes of having “Antichrist Superstar II”. It is very reminiscent of “Eat Me, Drink Me”, in terms of sound and lyrical content. Although it is a little shocking to hear Manson singing “I’ll love you if you let me.” It’s as close as Marilyn Manson will ever get to creating an eHarmony profile. Hopefully.

Pretty As A Swastika kicks in sounding like the bridge of Billy Idol’s version of “Mony Mony”. And those opening seconds are as interesting as it gets unfortunately.

Leave A Scar is another bad relationship song, which also sounds like a track from “Eat Me, Drink Me”, although much better than anything on that record. Unfortunately for Manson, he’s just never going to be accepted in his maturity as a songwriter. He will always and forever be the guy who wore a thong and torn up panty hose with the scary make-up singing about being an Antichrist. He could write something on the level of “Blood On The Tracks” and it wouldn’t get him the least bit of respect. Of course continuing to wear the make-up isn’t helping. It would be interesting to see what kind of reaction he’d get doing his Kiss “Lick It Up” moment. I’m sure it wouldn’t be a positive one, though, since Manson has (face)painted himself into a corner so much in 15 years.

Four Rusted Horses is Manson’s first attempt at sounding bluesy. Featuring a chorus of “Everyone will come to my funeral to make sure I stay dead.” Manson deserves credit for going outside of his comfort-zone on this one. It’s not great, but at least he’s trying slightly new musical territory instead of rewriting his hits as he’s been guilty of forever. I’ll take this any day over yet another Beautiful People re-write.

Speaking of which. Arma-Goddamn-Motherfuckin’-Geddon was Manson’s most hyped track, the one he called the heaviest song he’d ever written that was going to have everyone going nuts. But in reality it sounds exactly like a “Disposable Teens” re-write. Which was a “Rock Is Dead” re-write. Which was a “Beautiful People” re-write. Actually, it sounds almost exactly like that “Rock Is Dead” parody-song David Cross performed on Mr. Show when he played “Marilyn Monster” who was parodying Manson’s “Mechanical Animals” days and filming a training guide for employees at the pizza franchise he owned after getting off stage. Talk about false advertising, Mr. Manson.

Blank And White is next and is as much of a “PLEASE PROTEST ME AGAIN!” song as Eminem’s recent “Underground” where he goes back to gay bashing. Everything is thrown out here: Religious controversy, violence controversy. There’s even a bleeped out line where Manson sang “"Let's shoot up the mall, the school, or the President of whatever." Begging for controversy never works. It especially looks cheap when 10 years ago Manson made an entire concept album about the reasons he’s not responsible for youth violence, wrote an essay to Rolling Stone about it, and even gave his side of the Columbine story to Michael Moore. Come on, Manson, you can be more provocative than this if you try.

Running To The Edge Of The World is as close as Manson has ever come to writing something that could have been a 80s hair metal power ballad. It’s a surprisingly good song for what it is., definitely getting the most praise by people of anything on the record. The band has made songs that sounded like this before (“Disassociative”, “A Place In The Dirt”) but this one stands the best chance of being a radio hit.

I Want To Kill You Like They Do In The Movies is another album highlight. A hypnotic 9 minute opus with Manson tossing all kinds of sexy-threats to kill his love of the moment. And with that, the mystery of why Marilyn Manson can’t seem to make a relationship work is answered. The heavy bass featured reminds you that the return of Twiggy Ramirez to the Manson-fold is a welcomed one.

WOW is Manson nearly rapping on the verses. It kind of sounds like Nine Inch Nails’s “Only”, actually. Filler.

Wight Spider is another relationship song. The best thing you can say about these is that they are better thought-out and delivered than the ones on “Eat Me, Drink Me”. This song wouldn’t sound out of place on “Mechanical Animals”.

Unkillable Monster is surprisingly tame for a title like that. And unfortunately it sounds like another “Eat Me, Drink Me” retread.

We’re From America is a pretty bad, repetitive song. It was the first leaked track from the album, and when I heard it I knew his promises of a return to the Antichrist sound were severely exaggerated. It’s just a plodding punk-sounding number with a bunch of repeated slogans that you’d expect him to write. It just makes you remember it has been a hell of a long time since he actually pushed any boundaries. A pure filler track you question why he attempted to draw any attention to.

I Have To Look Up Just To See Hell My, that looks like a Fall Out Boy song title. Manson does seem like he’s been a little affected by the emo revolution, although he accused My Chemical Romance of being copycats of his for some reason I can‘t figure out.

Into The Fire A piano ballad. This kind of sounds like something Pulp would do for “This Is Hardcore”. Manson doesn’t have the voice to do constant ballads. One or two is fine, but this album pushes it. It’s not a bad song, but Manson groaning on yet another song is getting tiresome by this point. He has a great scream, but his voice wasn’t made to do ballads this much.

15 harkens back to the days Manson was big into numerology. 15 was the number of the “Mechanical Animals” era. It started off because his birthday is January 5th, then he changed the “I” and “S” in his logo into a “1” and “5”. There were 15 tracks on that album counting the CD Rom-only song, it debuted at #1, slipped in #5 in its 2nd week and then dropped to #15 in its third. Although this time the 15 seems to only correspond to 1/5 being his birthday mentioned in the lyrics.

Lyrically, Marilyn Manson tried on the emo-suit and seems to have liked it. I guess his idea of “maturity” is talking mostly about relationships, rather than discussing The Worm turning into the Antichrist Superstar or Omega leading a spin-off of Ziggy Stardust. He had to change, obviously, since the shock-rocker career can only take you so far. But while this album isn’t awful, it’s still fairly mediocre. He used to be pretty imaginative (even if he was just morphing someone else’s ideas into his own) so you have to wonder where that imagination has gone. The album will also be hurt by Manson talking it up so much. Once you mention it housing “some of the most violent songs we’ve done” and it doesn’t feature any that fit that bill, you’re going to disappoint your fans. And maybe they would have otherwise enjoyed the record if they hadn’t been mislead, as it should please Marilyn Manson fans for the most part. But it still is far from being their best work.

RATING: 2/5

Friday, May 22, 2009

Cinematic Mayhem




According to Rolling Stone, the long delayed Mayhem bio-pic will finally begin filming this September in Norway. The film had been attempted to be made since 2004, but producers could never get the funding needed to film it until now.

The movie will be based on the 1998 book “The Lords Of Chaos”, which was written by Michael Moynihan an Didrik Soderlind. The book chronicled the rise of the Norwegian Black Metal movement, which unlike most of the Satanism used in American and British heavy metal, took the Satanic aspect seriously, mixed in with some ancient Odinism. For instance, Slayer are actually Atheists who used pentagrams because they looked cool as imagery. But their some of their Norwegian counterparts and their fans took Satanism seriously enough to go on church-burning sprees.

For those that do not know the story of Mayhem, they were a Black Metal band formed in 1984 who, kind of like rappers, gave themselves nicknames and wore “corpsepaint” on stage. Originally with Euronymous on vocals and guitar, Necrobutcher on bass and Manheim on drums. Euronymous eventually decided the band should have another vocalist and went through Maniac and Messiah before settling on Dead in 1988, and replaced drummer Manheim with Hellhammer.

Mayhem’s concerts started gaining the attention of Europe’s metal community. The band would perform with impaled animal heads on stage, singer Dead would routinely perform self-mutilation with knives while performing, and they started building one of the larger fanbases in their music community. Dead would also keep his stage closed buried outside and dig them up right before performing so they’d have the appearance of what a corpse would be wearing. He also carried around a dead bird in a jar, which he opened and inhaled to smell decay to help get him in the mood to perform. Drummer Hellhammer also claimed he once asked him to bury him underground for the total corpse effect.

On April 8th, 1991, after suffering from severe depression since he was a teenager, and reportedly depressed about situations within the band, Dead slit his wrists and then shot himself in the head with a shotgun at the home the band shared. Hours later Euronymous came home and discovered the suicide scene. But instead of immediately calling police, Euronymous went to a local drug store to buy a disposable camera, with which he used to take pictures of the crime scene. He also claimed that before finally calling the police, he collected bits of skull fragment to make into necklaces and scooped up brain matter to mix into a stew he was cooking. One of Euronymous’s photos of Dead was reportedly stolen and circulated around their fanbase until it made its way on the cover of a live bootleg.

After that the Norwegian Black Metal scene got even bigger. A few murders by people associated with the scene mixed in with churches being burned down made it one of the most talked about metal scenes in the world in the early 90s. Even Britain’s Kerrang magazine came in to do a cover story on them, despite most of the bands not even having released proper albums yet (Mayhem’s debut didn’t see the light of day until 1994.)

Varg Vikernes of the band Burzum became the mouthpiece of the scene. He cemented his place at the forefront of Black Metal by announcing to a newspaper reporter the Black Metal community was at war with Christianity, and flirted with Nazi ideas and imagery (including decorating his home with Nazi memorabilia.) He also appeared on the cover of Kerrang magazine holding knives and gloated about the violence and destruction the community was bringing to Norway. His boasts got the attention of police, who arrested he and several other Black Metal band members for suspicion of arson. Vikernes didn’t help his case any by using a picture of a burned down church on the cover of a Burzum album, although he denied taking it himself.

Vikernes was also briefly the bassist of Mayhem, redubbing himself Count Grishnackh. But even though he was only with the band for less than a year, he left a huge impact. He was the bassist when in early 1993 they finally recorded the long-awaited debut album “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas”, which is Latin for “The Mysteries Of Satan”, although the band attempted to have it Latin for “Lord Satan‘s Secret Rites” but got a bad translation. But on August 10th, 1993, Euronymous was dead by Count Grishnackh’s hand.

Vikernes’s side of the story is that there was a dispute over money Euronymous owed to him, so he traveled to his apartment to discuss matters with him. He claims that they got into an argument and that Euronymous attacked him, so he murdered him in self-defense. But police believed it was a premeditated murder, since accomplice Snorre Ruch confessed to police that the two drove hours to Oslo, Norway with a knife to murder Euronymous. Also he told police that they had rented a movie and left it running on their VCR so that neighbors would believe they were still in Vikernes’s apartment as an alibi. The other members of Mayhem believed that Euronymous liked to give death threats to people he was angry with, although he wasn’t serious, but that Vikernes did take him serious and murdered him because he believed Euronymous was out to kill him. Vikernes was eventually found guilty of the murder and sentences to the maximum sentence of Norwegian law, which is 21 years.

In May 1994, “De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas” was finally released and hailed as an instant classic by the metal community. Euronymous’s family asked the remaining Mayhem members singer Attilla Csihar and drummer Hellhammer to remove the bass parts of Vikernes before it was released. Hellhammer claims they told the family they would, but in actuality left them in and just turned them down in the mix, but left in his credit in the album. Music writers were interested that it was the first album where a murderer plays on the album with the person he murdered. This wouldn’t be done again until Zapp drummer Larry Troutman murdered his brother, Zapp singer Roger Troutman, on April 25th, 1999.

Hellhammer re-hired ex-bassist Necro Butcher at Euronymous’s funeral and announced plans that the band would continue with new guitarist Blasphemer and went on tour to support the record. They didn’t release new material until the EP “Wolf’s Lair Abyss” in 1997 and the full length “Grand Declaration Of War” in 2000. They gained headlines again in 2003 when they were charged with assault after a concert in Bergen, Norway when a band member threw a severed sheep’s head into the crowd and it landed on a fan’s head, fracturing his skull.

Now if this doesn’t sound like it would make one hell of an entertaining movie, then I don’t know what does!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Celebrating The Return Of Behind The Music




Behind The Music Is Back!

Unarguably the greatest musical show of the 1990s will return to a station that seems to have forgotten they are a music station. Well, at least they still have music videos on their Top 20 weekend show which is more than you can say about MTV. And their reality programming is vastly more entertaining than stupid shit like The Hills. Of course watching dogshit decay into the grass is more entertaining than The Hills.

They’re going to return with a mix of bands with entertaining interpersonal wars (Van Halen), drugs galore (Stone Temple Pilots) and of course the obligatory “let’s get some uninteresting current artists to pop the ratings” (Lil’ Wayne). Sure, it’s probably going to suck, since the show went downhill towards the end of its original run with some really shitty episodes. But let’s be optimistic for once, shall we?

So to celebrate I would like to look at a list of the top 10 greatest and worst BTM episodes. Starting with The Best. Now granted, if you were like me in the 90s (a stranded-at-home teenager with no social life) you’ve seen these episodes 9 million times and even today you recoil at the thought of viewing them again. I could probably put on a One Man Play for you of some of these episodes, actually. So don’t take into account repeat fatigue, and just remember how awesome they were the first 20 times you watched them.

#10: BLIND MELON (Aired September 9th, 2001)
While Shannon Hoon proved that you don’t necessarily become an immortal rock icon if you die young, Blind Melon still had a very compelling story. The episode centers around Hoon and his widow, with the rest of Blind Melon pretty much being an afterthought. Hoon got his big break when fellow Lafayette, IN singer W. Axl Rose had him sing back up on their huge power ballad “Don’t Cry” and appear in the music video. That lead to the band being the subject of a huge bidding war and they released their first album 2 years later. “No Rain” was a huge hit, but like every band that breaks through with a music video better than the song, they were deemed one hit wonders and their follow up album “Soup”, even though it was vastly superior to the self-titled debut, stiffed. In the meantime, Hoon had a major cocaine addiction that derailed his career due to having to go to rehab numerous times, and an incident where he got fucked up before a show and ended up urinating on the audience. He went back to rehab again, but due to “Soup” being a Billboard bomb felt obligated to leave early to tour to try to salvage sales. Unfortunately this ended up being a horrible idea, because he snuck crack-cocaine into his tour bus bunk bed and overdosed at the age of 28.

One thing that gives this episode more weight is that Hoon left behind a ton of home video footage detailing the entire run of his band. His widow also reads some compelling diary entries detailing his attempts to overcome addiction and cope with fame and his wife’s unexpected pregnancy shortly before he died. One downside was the band comes off looking in a bad light because they don’t get enough time to tell their side of the story, as most of the airtime is for Hoon’s family and archival footage. But still one of the more compelling episodes.

#9: MILLI VANILLI (Aired August 17th, 1997)
The debut episode of Behind The Music was able to do the unthinkable: leave you feeling sympathy for two prettyboy German dancers with no talent who swindled the world claiming they were singing some really godawful pop songs. Until then Milli Vanilli were the scum of the earth, nothing more than an outdated punchline. But after hearing them tell their side of the story. They were just two struggling models who took a quick gig miming the awful Euro-pop of “Girl You Know It’s True” for producer Frank Farian not expecting much to come of it. Except that it became a worldwide smash hit, selling millions and millions and million of albums and somehow earning them a “Best New Artist” award at the 1989 Grammys. For unknown reasons, Farian decided to announce to the world Rob & Fab were just models who can’t sing and the real singers were ugly session singers. After that they became two of the most reviled men on the planet and people won Class Action Lawsuits against them for fraud.

About a year after this episode aired, Rob Pilatus was found dead in a hotel room of a drug overdose. I don’t recall if it was proven to be a suicide or not, but the guy seems completely despondent in this episode, so it wouldn’t be surprising if it was. This is a completely compelling hour of television and even though nobody on the planet has respect for them, you can’t help but feel sorry for them. They clearly weren’t trying to put one over on the public to become superstars, it’s clear they were just as surprised it happened as anybody.

#8: MEGADETH (Aired April 25th, 2001)
There was a demand for Dave Mustaine to tell his side of the story after Metallica retelling the event of coldly waking Mustaine up to fire him for being a destructive drunk and putting him on a Greyhound bus from New York City back to California was one of the highlights (or lowlights, really) of the Metallica episode. Of course being terminated like that (even though he did physically assault Hetfield, Burton and even Lil’ Lars) from what winded up being one of the biggest rock bands in history would be hard for anybody to take, so Mustaine has had an inferiority complex through out all of Megadeth’s career. Even though Megadeth got rave reviews and sold millions of albums around the world, he was never happy because Metallica was always bigger and better. Dave writes “Peace Sells....But Who’s Buying?” and Metallica write “Master Of Puppets”. Megadeth breaks through to the mainstream with “Countdown To Extinction” and Metallica release one of the biggest-selling records of the decade with “The Black Album”. The guy just couldn’t win. He also had a nasty drug addiction to crack-cocaine, heroin and alcohol that kept him from concentrating on his band. It took nearly dying from an overdose to finally get sober.

What makes this episode extra special (beyond the crazy stories) is how well photographed Megadeth was in their crazy drug days. There’s pictures of Metallica goofing around with bottles of booze, but there’s nothing goofy about Megadeth’s archival photographs, which show a band clearly living in the darkside. Rock n Roll!

#7: STALKERS (Aired September 21st, 1997)
This episode isn’t focused solely on music itself, but instead the phenomenon of musicians getting the craziest of all celebrity stalkers. Of course a retelling of the Mark David Chapman story is told, but nothing new is in it so that’s not what makes this compelling. The first highlight comes from the crazy tale of the otherwise boring Sarah McLachlan facing a series of stalkers since her breakthrough in the early 1990s. She received hundreds of disturbed “love” letters from deranged fans, which inspired her to write her hit “Possession”, which was written from the perspective of a stalker telling the object of his “affection” about his sense of entitlement to them. One of McLachlan’s stalkers, a Canadian computer programmer named Uwe Vandrei, sued her for plagiarism, claiming she copied his stalking letters for the songs lyrics. As darkly hilarious as that is (and it is pretty obvious he just sued her to get her attention and hopefully see her in civil court) the claims do have some weight to them when you realize McLachlan never wrote anything nearly as interesting lyrically as “Possession”, so maybe he was telling the truth. The Canadian courts had to figure out a way to keep Sarah McLachlan safe when the two were in the same court room, so they planned on issuing more court room security than for any other civil trial in Canadian history. According to his boss, Vandrei disturbed co-workers and clients by talking non-stop about McLachlan and his lawsuit so he was fired. Just days before the civil trial was to begin he shot himself in the head near the recording studio Sarah recorded at.

The second highlight of the episode is the very disturbing tale of Ricardo Lopez, a 21 year old pest exterminator who developed an obsession with singer Bjork. Lopez discovered Bjork was in a relationship with electronic musician Goldie, who is half-black, and insanely decided she deserved to die because of it. Lopez bought a camcorder and chronicled the last days of his life, where he built an acid bomb to mail to Bjork’s British office disguised as a book. After mailing the package on September 12th, 1996, Lopez filmed himself shaving his head and putting on make up (that oddly enough looks almost exactly like the make up Star Wars villain Darth Maul wore in 1999’s “The Phantom Menace”, which makes you wonder if he was an inspiration for George Lucas’s design.) After applying the make up (including some to his man-boobs for some reason) Lopez places a banner behind him reading “The Best Of Me”, which no one has figured out the intentions for, and plays Bjork’s song “I Miss You” before putting a .38 caliber handgun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. Fortunately for Bjork, police found the dead body of Ricardo Lopez and his video tapes (including a scene where he films the package clear enough to see the address its being sent to) so were able to alert Scotland Yard before Bjork or her assistant opened it. Lopez’s tapes became media sensations, popping up every now and then on shows like 20/20, Dateline, and a special on FOX. You can view a lot of Ricardo Lopez’s home videos at YouTube. And one interesting tidbit to this incident is that Bjork accompanied Goldie to a Florida night club that was miles away from Ricardo Lopez’s apartment a few days prior to the mailing of the package and his suicide. Fortunately for them, he had no idea about it.

#6: DEF LEPPARD (Aired June 21st, 1998)
What do you get when you take a band of idiots, mix in non-stop boozing with a bajillion records sold worldwide? One entertaining hour of television. Even if you think Def Leppard sucks (they do) and they were an overproduced studio creation, how can you go wrong with drunken debauchery (including apparently having sex with mother and daughter groupie teams), a vicious car wreck that cost their drummer his arm (but the drummer not giving up and still playing drums to this day), their original guitar player battling alcoholism until he drank himself to death, and a pretty likeable bunch of guys (even if you don’t like their Langeified music) living to tell the tale. They were poor working class kids who felt rock n roll was their only way out of getting a dead-end factory job like their fathers all had.

They were in the right place at the right time, as the “New Wave Of British Heavy Metal” movement was just starting to take effect. They were by far the poppiest band of the sub-genre, and they decided to take a page out of the British Invasion by playing up being British (including singer Joe Elliott wearing a Union Jack tank top constantly) which appealed to Americans. They became one of the first MTV superstars when the network put “Bringing On The Heartbreak” into heavy rotation. But that was nothing compared to the success of the follow up “Pyromania” album, which was only overshadowed by Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” in 1983. But the band never gained the same success they did in America in their home country of England. While nobody believed they could match the 10 million copies “Pyromania” sold in America, they ended up duplicating its success with “Hysteria”, even though recording was delayed for quite some time until drummer Rick Savage could concoct a strategy to play drums with one-arm (he ended up getting an electronic kit that allowed him to simulate drumming with an extra foot pedal.) But the band never reached such heights again, as a young generation of bands like Guns N Roses surpassed them in sales and their follow up to “Hysteria” was delayed for a while due to guitarist Steve Clark dying from alcohol poisoning during recording “Adrenalize“.

The episode was so successful VH1 decided to give the band their (I believe first) Made For TV Movie. Unfortunately that film was absolutely terrible, painfully low budget and made Lifetime TV movies look like Oscar contenders. So stick with the BTM.

#5: RICK JAMES (Aired March 15th, 1998)
Before Dave Chapelle and Charlie Murphy turned him into a complete cartoon character, this episode of Behind The Music tells the crazy tale of Rick James. This was actually the first time Rick James spoke openly about his drug addiction, since it was filmed about a year after he was released from prison. James was AWOL from military duty after fleeing to Canada when he joined his first professional band, The Mynah Birds, in the mid-60s with fellow future music icon Neil Young. The band signed a record deal, but broke up after authorities were alerted James was a draft dodger and he was deported back to America. Throughout the 1970s James attempted various bands but nothing was ever successful, despite James getting notice for his superb bass playing. But fortunately for Rick James, he signed a deal with Motown to be a solo artist in the late 70s, where he got hits with “Mary Jane” and “You And I”. During the next decade he became an even bigger star, with 1981’s “Street Songs”

Of course the man who brought us the immortal catch phrase “Cocaine is a helluva drug” has just one wild party tale after another. The hits kept coming as his life delved more and more into cocaine addiction in the 1980s, where he estimates he was spending $7,000 a week on crack. This climaxed when he and his wife Tanya Hijazi allegedly held a woman who came to the James residence for a cocaine party against her will, she claimed she was forced into performing sexual acts on the couple, burned with hot crack pipes and tied up for a week. Prior to that James and Hijazi were accused of holding a female music executive coming to their hotel room under the belief ot attending a meeting with James for a day where she claims James assaulted her. In 1993 he was sentenced to 2 years in prison for the case, and had to pay $2 million in a civil trial.

Unfortunately for James, any comeback he could have gotten was cut short when before the episode aired he suffered a stroke on stage at a concert, which slurred his speech and left him unable to sing. After the episode James got a deal for an autobiography, but it was held up for quite some time and not released until nearly 3 years after his death.

#4: METALLICA (Aired November 22nd, 1998)
Love them or hate them, Metallica have lived quite a life. Although this episode has been aired probably 1 billion times and nobody wants to ever see it again, it was riveting television the first 900 times you saw it. This was Metallica when fans hated them for “Load” and “Re-Load”, but before they became complete assholes with Lil’ Lars embarrassing himself in the Napster-debacle and they thought it would be a good idea to put out “Some Kind Of Monster”, a cringe inducing look at their lives as millionaire assholes working on a shitty album called “St. Anger” nobody liked. Who part ways with the only likeable member of the band left (Jason Newsted) to further cement their status as rock’s premiere dickheads.

But they were truly great in their prime. It’s funny to hear them talk about how they were out to kill off the hair metal major labels ate up, when a little more than 15 years later they turned into exactly what they hated. Coldly retelling waking Dave Mustaine up to send him on a bus back to California so they could hire Kirk Hammet is defintely cringe-worthy great television. I’m sure this lead to what Mustaine meant by saying “They fuck with me” in his S.K.O.M. cameo. The detailed story of what happened with the European bus accident that killed Cliff Burton (including Hammet talking about living with the guilt that he usually slept in the bunk Burton was thrown from) is harrowing. But then they liven up the mood by retelling how they hazed the living hell out of Jason Newsted (telling groupies he was gay, charging all kinds of room service to his room, although they don’t touch on the long-standing urban legend that Hetfield demanded practically all traces of his bass playing be removed from the final “And Justice For All” mix.) Then “The Black Album” happened and they sold so many records they were dubbed their generation’s Led Zeppelin. But the love died off 5 years later when they stunned fans by cutting their hair and putting out a really awful record that sounded like a tuneless Stone Temple Pilots album. In between that we get another highlight of the band retelling how James Hetfield was nearly burned to a crisp when he accidentally walked into a firework as it was shooting off. They were co-headlining with Guns N Roses, and unfortunately Axl had a sorethroat and walked off so the fans rioted. As the riot was going on Newsted remembers seeing Rose backstage quietly smoking and drinking, which should have irritated his throat, not really giving a shit.

#3: OZZY OSBOURNE (Aired April 19th, 1998)
This was Ozzy on the road to mainstream acceptance, which of course ended with him making a fool of himself for two seasons of MTV’s “The Osbournes”. He of course comes off as he always does, the light-hearted, self deprecating, charming mumblemouth who seems as bewildered as anyone that he’s still alive. Sharon somehow comes off charming and not that the shrieking shrew we all love to hate. But you do have to feel sympathy for her, as Ozzy’s crazy addictions did put her through hell (including one incident in Russia where he tried to strangle her) before she started taking advantage of him by turning him into a reality show clown.

Ozzy was a dirt-poor loser who was doomed to never amount to anything beyond working in a pig slaughterhouse (which he gleefully talks about enjoying) until he discovered he had something special as a rock frontman. So he joined a bunch of guys who didn’t even really like him and called themselves Black Sabbath and revolutionized music forever. So of course a broke-ass kid suddenly becoming a millionaire is going to go wild, and Ozzy’s hard partying ways became legendary. But eventually he split from Black Sabbath and fell into a deep depression. He was living in a hotel, blowing through all of his money on booze and drugs, when his manager’s daughter took pity on him and tried to rally him back to prominence. They ended up falling in love, even though they were both married to other people at the time, and she managed him to solo stardom. He hit it off with his new musical partner, guitar prodigy Randy Rhodes, but unfortunately that was short lived as one day while Rhodes was riding in a plane, the pilot jokingly buzzed Ozzy’s tour bus, but the plane lost control and crashed. Ozzy again fell into a deep depression that his new best friend was dead.

Ozzy became even crazier on all types of narcotics and booze, but kept his place as one of heavy metal’s biggest stars. He also became one of the most controversial, as it seemed even preacher in the 1980s did at least one sermon denouncing him as being a tool of Satan. One of the episode’s highlights come when one of the religious right members who sued him for one of the “Suicide Solution”-blamed suicides comes off looking like a loon whispering supposed subliminal messages (“Get the gun......get the gun.....shoot, shoot, shoot.”) Although Ozzy explains the supposed “Shoot, shoot, shoot” heard was an echo effect people misheard. Although they don’t spend as much time on this as they did for Judas Priest’s suicide lawsuit on their episode years later.

Ozzy is just one of those guys you can’t help but like. Which even though he was a bumbling, mumbling pilled-out wreck on “The Osbournes” he was still televisions favorite dad briefly. Or maybe the world just felt sorry for him with a domineering wife and fat, spoiled brats for children. Your choice.

#2: BADFINGER (Aired November 5th, 2000)
There’s a lot of rock bands some claim are cursed, but this is the one band you cannot deny was cursed. They were handpicked by The Beatles’s shortlived label Apple Records to be their Welsh heirs, and they even had Paul McCartney write them some songs. So with a Beatles stamp of approval they should have been rock icons, right? No. The Beatles split up, Apple Records was a debt pit, and the band never caught on with the public like originally believed.

In 1968 the band, who much like The Beatles in the early 60s made a name for themselves playing live gigs with mostly 50s rock and Motown covers, were the first signed to Apple Records under their original name of The Iveys before renaming themselves Badfinger in 1969. McCartney asked them to do 3 songs for the soundtrack to “The Magic Christian”, including one of his compositions called “Come And Get It” that became a top 10 hit. Their debut album “No Dice” was a top 40 hit around the world, although the biggest hit from the record was their song “Without You”, but it wasn’t their version that gained success, it was a cover by John Lennon’s good friend Harry Nilsson that went to #1 2 years later and most people believed it was his song instead of Badfinger’s. And they never got much respect from critics, even the positive reviews wrote them off as Beatlemania wannabes. George Harrison was going to produce their sophomore album, but passed at the last minute so the duties went to Todd Rundgren and the record, “Straight Up“ was another top 40 hit. But most notably during that time period, Badfinger appeared as backing musicians or back-up singers on every Beatles solo release from that time period (Lennon’s “Imagine” album, Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass” album and even Ringo’s “It Don’t Come Easy” single.)

Their follow-up record, 1973’s “Ass” was held up when Apple went through financial turmoil and head honcho Allen Klein wouldn’t let the band out of their contract. Despite prior success, when “Ass” finally got released it didn’t even make the Billboard Top 100. Unfortunately, during this time their manager started to get shady, having the band on a salary instead of paying them what they were earning. When asked about where the money was being put into, the manager told them about a bank fund and some investments that were going to grow the money significantly. Unfortunately, their manager was ripping them off and refused to give them a dime of his own money. Guitarist Peter Ham fell into a deep depression when he came to the realization that he was flat broke despite his success, and couldn’t take that pressure in addition to having a baby on the way, so he hung himself in 1975. The band split up and took real jobs, until Joey Molland moves to America and starts up a new band called Badfinger, convincing Tom Evans to join him. The remaining members re-start their own Badfinger as well and at one time both Badfingers were touring America at the same time. Of course this lead to lawsuits galore and neither Badfinger amounted to anything. In 1983 Tom Evans followed Peter Ham’s fate and hung himself outside of his house (where unfortunately his 6 year old son found his dead body.)

Today Molland continues performing as “Badfinger”, he feels a little ashamed of doing it, but admits he’s doing it because it’s the only way he can get work. Unlike most BTM’s there’s not really a redemption story in there, since their lives all turned so hellish as soon as Apple Records went under. The closest you do get is learning that “Without You” is one of the most covered songs of all-time, and Mariah Carey introduced it to a new generation in the mid-90s when she covered it. Other than that the two song writers committed suicide, everybody is broke and their relationships fractured, and sometimes they slum it on the nostalgia circuit for money. Make sure you take a double dose of your anti-depressants before watching this.

#1: MOTLEY CRUE (Aired December 13th, 1998)
What is it about a bunch of morons with too much money and even more drugs living to tell about it that makes for such entertaining television? This episode is by far the most re-aired Behind The Music ever, with probably only the Metallica, Ozzy and Madonna episodes following behind. You have it all: craziness, wild success, death, a nasty split up, sex with famous people. You want it, it’s here. Although Motley Crue tell their story in much more entertaining fashion in their joint-autobiography “The Dirt”, due to an extended telling and more importantly a lack of censorship, this was the most re-aired BTM for a reason.

Motley Crue were a bunch of dumbasses who decided to cover up the fact that they weren’t that talented by doing a Kiss-lite stage show with make up, pyro and Satanic imagery. It was a hit, as they were one of the first “hair metal” bands from LA to hit it big in the early 80s with “Shout At The Devil”. They lived every single stereotype you can imagine a rock band doing: constant cocaine, constant groupies, taking so much shit they had near-death experiences, all unwisely marrying strippers and nude models in a haze of substance abuse, somehow being able to finish really mediocre albums that sold solely on name value. This continued until singer Vince Neil had a bright idea to go drive drunk during a wild party to grab more alcohol with Hanoi Rocks drummer Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley in the car with him. Neil lost control of his sports car, and although he came out without a scratch his passenger was killed and both people in the car they hit were left gravely injured. Neil was charged with vehicular manslaughter and DUI, but since he was rich and famous only received 1 month in jail, which he only served 15 days of. He gives the best quote of the episode by admitting “I was like the OJ Simpson of the 80s.” ROCK N ROLL!!!

The band slowly began to sober up through out the 80s. Bassist Nikki Sixx overdosed and nearly died on heroin a few times before they all cleaned up and released their biggest album “Dr. Feelgood” in 1989. After that album, Neil claims he was fired from the band, but Sixx insists he voluntarily quit in a scene reminiscent of the back-and-forth between Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth on MTV in 1986. Nevertheless Neil’s solo albums all tanked and Motley Crue decided they needed to get “serious” in the wake of grunge and released a record with new singer John Corabi that nobody liked. So after that Crue and Neil both dropped off of the face of the earth. Drummer Tommy Lee emerged in 1996 after meeting and quickly marrying Baywatch superstar, and future sex-tape co-star, Pamela Anderson and according to the media changed his name to “Rocker Tommy Lee”. In ’97 Crue and Neil reformed and put out “Generation Swine”, that tried to sound pseudo-industrial and nobody liked that record either. Years later they somehow became a really big nostalgia circuit act, which I guess was partially due to their BTM episode being rerun endlessly in addition to “The Dirt”.

But this is the episode all other episodes are judged against. Vince Neil, pre-plastic surgery (also due to VH1) looking like absolute bloated dogshit. Mick Mars looking like a young Crypt Keeper (which is awesome for a heavy metal guitarist, fortunately) and Nikki Sixx, despite being the biggest druggie in the band still looking like he did in his 30s. How the hell is that possible?

BEHIND THE MUSIC....THAT SUCKS
MADONNA
Madonna is one of those people who, due to having every aspect of their life exposed already, do not need a documentary. Do you need to see a documentary on Princess Diana, or Paris Hilton? It also doesn’t help that Madonna is not a good interview subject in the least. Boringness + Fake British Accents = Awful TV.

GUNS N ROSES
I think this episode being so terrible, despite being on an entertaining band, is what drove Behind The Music to go away for a few years. Of course the lack of Axl hurt it, but the man couldn’t even be bothered to do press for “Chinese Democracy” so what do you expect. Really bad editing and a lack of solid sequencing ruined this.

SHANIA TWAIN
This was the first “let’s profile a current star” episode I can remember, and due to it being such a ratings success it brought a bunch of that kind of episode in through out the years. Shania has absolutely nothing interesting to talk about other than her parents died in a car accident and conservative Nashville thought she was too sexy to be a country singer. Don’t you have to have had a raging drug problem to get approved for a BTM episode? If you can stay awake during this episode, give yourself a pat on the back.

BRITNEY SPEARS
If Britney wanted to be completely honest about how her life entered the downward spiral it did in 2006, I’d definitely be down to watch that. But this episode was from 2003, where she was still ‘not a girl, not yet impregnated by K-Fed.’ Or something. This episode made the snoozefest Matchbox Twenty episode look like the Motley Crue one for entertainment.

CREED
While their lives turned into a tailor-made episode of BTM after this aired, the main thing you learn about these dull idiots is that Scott Stapp had overprotective parents and they had to tour a few years before they got famous. So this is as entertaining as watching paint dry. Of course now, with the band splitting up, Stapp putting out a disastrous solo album in between getting arrested and his former bandmates saying they hated being around him in interviews (only to recently reunite) they’d have a good episode. This is exactly why profiling artists at the height of their fame is a terrible idea. No band gets interesting until they crumble.

LENNY KRAVITZ
Is there a more boring person in music then Lenny Kravitz? At least Rob Thomas had a drug problem in between his dullness. The selling point of the show is that Lenny Kravitz had a lull in sales between “Are You Gonna Go My Way?” and when “Fly Away” became a hit. Only his life was completely uninteresting during that time period. Although it was funny that they explicitly detailed how harsh the reviews were that he has gotten his entire recording career. Usually they sugar coat things like that, but you get a full-on picture of the “ENOUGH OF THIS 60s SHIT!” feeling writers felt about him.

THE OSMONDS
Yeah, they had a “here today, gone tomorrow” story to tell. But they’re just such nice, squeaky clean people it isn’t much of a story. Excess for Donny Osmond is having one glass of wine on New Year’s Eve. After their 70s heyday ended they kept their dignity, close family ties and sobriety. So needless to say there’s no tales of killing friends in drunk driving wrecks or contemplating suicide after being dropped from their label. There’s not much of anything, really.

ALANIS MORRISSETTE
Behind The Music was guilty of going with the artists label-written bio regardless of how glaringly obvious it was that it wasn’t true. That made for some really bad episodes. Here they could have grilled Alanis on how a Nickelodeon child actor, turned teen-pop star can possibly be, as they call her in the show’s opening “music's most immaterial girl”. It’s painfully obvious that Alanis-as-Alternative rock chick was a Maverick Records and Glen Ballard creation. They don’t call her on any of this, or even attempt to get her to explain how she has a right to be on the same angst level as Tori Amos when the worst thing to ever happen in Alanis’s life was learning Uncle Joey from Full House was cheating on her. Nope, they just repeat the Alanis Morissette Maverick Records press package word-for-word.

CELINE DION
Yeah she has a semi-interesting rags to riches story. But how disturbing it is that VH1 treats the love story between Celine and husband Rene Angelil as acceptable? When the two met, Rene was nearly 40 and Celine was 12 years old. If that doesn’t make you want to puke then something is wrong with you, Gary Glitter. Exploring that honestly, and looking at how Celine has never really had a life beyond performing, since her parents were trying to get her famous since she was a young singing prodigy, would make for interesting television. The problem is it appears this was written, produced, and edited by Team Celine at Sony Music. Fluff pieces suck.

THOSE YEAR EPISODES
I’ll lump these all in together. One hour is just not long enough to talk about 365 days. It doesn’t help that they can’t decide if they want to focus on the politics or the music or the movies of that year. It just comes off like a total clusterfuck of television. The 1992 episode is the biggest offender “Okay, we’ve got 45 minutes after commercials, guys. Let’s go! Cut to Michael Jackson, cut to Nirvana, cut to Pearl Jam, cut to En Vogue, cut to Cypress Hill, cut to Bill Clinton, cut to Sir Mix-A-Lot, cut to Body Count, cut to U2 prank calling the White House, cut back to Bill Clinton, now back to Pearl Jam, now back to Nirvana, cut to Public Enemy, now show footage of George Bush and Dan Quayle, now back to Clinton, now back to En Vogue, cut to PM Dawn, now show that picture of Kurt Cobain crying so we can mention he killed himself 2 years later....” Sorry, but every band that had a hit that year getting 2 minutes a piece isn’t good TV.